6th November 2002

Well Vin Deisel kicked arse and I saw a big slice of movie budget go up in
smoke along with a few helicopters / fast cars / boats etc etc. All
harmless fun really, nobody getting too injured, like Beverley Hills Cop.
I thought I would aspire to being Vin Deisel for a week and thought about
walking round Barnet in a sawn off tee-shirt and a sleeveless leather
jacket but the very thought of it gave me a cold. I have had that cold for
just over a week now and this prevented me from doing a gig last night
with Cujo. My head is choc-full of shit and I can't pitch so I went to the
venue and watched Cujo instead. They were really boss and kicked more arse
than Vin Deisel and without the aid of a Hollywood budget. Really loved
the covers they played as well. They did "Hotel Yorba" by White Stripes
and little Benny was singing his socks off like an swinging his oversize
instrument about like he was enjoying himself. I think I will have to have
a word with him about that. It was nice to hear "Stanley" dragged out of
the cupboard. It has a swampy sort of groove and gave me a few ideas of
how it can be totally "swampmungus". They did a cover of "Last Nite" by
The Strokes and a couple of Who tunes and fucked it all up at the end by
doing Johnny B Goode. Only joking, even that had me tapping my feet ever
so slightly. I think if you are a fan of good music and sometimes like
jumping around your living room playing a Slazenger tennis racket then
Cujo could be just the sort of therapy you need.Visit their website where
I think you can grab a free tune at www.cujo.cc . I was with Yash at the
gig last night who I think has told me to rectify something that I had
said in a previous edition or something else of world-shattering
importance but I can't remember what it was so I apologise Yash.I guess
this is a testament to the memory erasing qualities of Guinness. I went to
France on a beer / wine run with Janice and Liz. It was the usual over
indulgence in the alcohol. I had a bad day with the liquids on two
occasions. The first was when we were eating dinner and the waiter tipped
a glass of beer all over the table and me. My jeans were nicely splattered
and gave me the look of a man who has the spout of a watering can on the
end of his penis and has had an epileptic fit whilst visiting the toilet.
After all that the Salmon Ravioli was shite and tasted like Ravioli Ding
from yesterdays leftovers. We won't be going there again. the next bad
vibe came when I have gone into the duty free to buy some "oily rags" and
I bought a bottle of Tia Maria because my missus sometimes drinks it and
to be honest I didn't really need to get it but I did and when I put it on
the floor to open the boot of the car the bottle cracked and leaked all
over Dan's Silk Cut and Joe's Drum. Now Dan can enjoy the usual lungfuls
of air you usually get with Silk Cut but now with added rich coffee
aroma!! It was great coming back along the motorway and watching fire
works go off all over Kent as we passed. After I dropped the ladies off in
South London I headed home along my familiar route only to get diverted
and lost in the middle of London. My knowledge of the inner city is
appaling and I saw Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Marble Arch, in
fact quite a few top tourist attractions. I got pissed off at first
becasue I didn't know where I was going and I crossed back over the river
at Waterloo Bridge after having crossed it once at Blackfriars bridge and
that is all I am prepared to admit for fear of being lambasted by
Londoners who read these pages. After I calmed down and thought "Fuck it,
I can't be lost, I will eventually get north or recognise something so
chill and enjoy London at night. It was like being in "The Long Good
Friday", all very nice and for those who may give a flying fuck, the queen
was not at home (probably out down the bingo). I have had Evo Diablo in my
studio doing a few demos. Evo Diablo are Dan, Niol and Noel and Laura. The
first three being the chaps that played on the live version of "The
Honeymoon's Over". I thought this would be an apt moment to introduce you
to these reprobates so over the next three editions of this page we will
be doing a "Pop Bunny" feature with each of the boys kinda like Smash Hits
Personal. In each of the three pictures our "Pop Bunnies" are all wearing
shades. They are not showing off or trying to give it the "big 'un"
because it was I that requested they wear them. The reason for this
request is patently obvious, all aspiring "Pop Bunnies" will need to
become accustomed to wearing shades at all times of the day when they are
recovering from a night of abuse and have to face papperazzi at Heathrow
at six in the morning. When you have seen all three pictures in the series
I think you will agree that all of our contestants passed the "shades"
exam with flying colours and showed that they are all well accustomed to
the putting on the Lew Grades at un-godly hours after a night sniffing
someone's jumper. Anyway moving swiftly on, Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Niol
Sweeney.
Date of birth: 16th January 1978. Ealing, Middlesex
Started playing drums: I started hitting biscuit tins when I was eleven.
First record bought: Bad - Michael Jackson
Desert Island Disc: Sneakin' Sally Through The Alley - Robert Palmer
If you weren't a musician what would you be: A saxomophonist.
Which musician, alive or dead, would you most like to meet: Jeff Buckley.
Next week it's big brother Dan. Oh I just can't wait that long, can
you???